Notes – Success & Happiness with Vance Caeser (#happiness, #success)

From a talk given by Vance Caeser
  • “To create abundance in life, you must give more than you expect to receive”
  • “How Will You Measure Your Life?” book by Clayton Christiansen
  • Your only job is to make your boss happy without losing your integrity; you are your own boss
  • High achiever definitions
    • relative position in peer group versus peers
    • quantitative measures
    • typically, top 3% of any group
    • but you can be your own judge of high achievement
  • Synonyms for success:
    • peace
    • freedom
    • helping others
    • for some it is a #
    • it’s always inside of a person; individual, diverse answers for each person
  • Leadership is based on emotional intelligence, which is built on self-awareness
  • Families based on gratitude (thankfulness, acknowledging successes, etc.) help children to grow up w/ a mindset of exploring internal happiness
  • Emotions create the drugs in our bodies; belief systems strongly conditions the kind of emotions we have, therefore beliefs lead to the drugs that are in our bodies
  • On an annual basis, review “What are the beliefs we’ve operated on in this past year?”
  • Purpose creates abundance
  • Purpose, beliefs, who we associate with, are the three keys to development of our lives and happiness
  • When life decisions aren’t working, that is the time to sit down, listen to yourself, take inventory of your beliefs, examine which ones are creating anxiety for you
  • “Some day I’m going to be happy when…” means you’ve given up on being happy today
  • “I get to do this today” vs. “I have to do this this today”, demonstrates responsibility versus victimhood mentality
  • Viktor Frankl, use your vision, see success, let it guide you through the daily clutter which will seemingly take care of itself as you focus on envisioning your success
  • Balanced life involves managing energy, not time (see HBR article)
  • Brands: distinctive, relevant, consistent
  • Relationship-building, not networking; connection, not contacts
    • knowing a name
    • knowing their story
    • earning their trust so they want to be around you, too
  • It’s really important to know what your story is, what your values are, what your role in the world is; develop your signature story, can deliver it in 10 seconds or talk about it for 2-3 hours
  • Sharing stories and looking for overlap builds trust with others
  • You can’t trust what a person does, only who they are
  • Leaders are distinguished by the fact that they have followers; leaders are followed for:
    • technical skills
    • authority, title
    • respect, reverent power
  • Cheryl Sandberg, lean-in circles, Nat Geo “blue zone” longevity studies, people with long lives join authentic communities and give to them
  • How do you deal with “poison”?
    • fear and love are our basic emotions
    • hire for character 1st, energy 2nd, competency 3rd
    • you are the CEO of your life, stay away from people committed to living in fear
    • you “hire” your boss, your friends, etc., you can pick different ones
  • It’s important to feel like you’re in charge, cultivate a free agent mentality
  • Nordstrom once encouraged its managers to seek an outside position and get a job offer once a year to give themselves options and work in that free agent spirit
  • It’s important to learn how you learn, and then only work and learn in that way
  • Great leaders are always great educators, they focus on listening to people to use their own brilliance to help them grow faster
  • You have all the answers already, the answer isn’t out there, it’s inside of you
  • Be clear on why you’re here, know why first, then how, then what
  • Have clarity about your vision so you know what you need to do to get there; you vision will serve you if it’s inspiring
  • Live a conscious life, be aware of what you do, use your heart as a scorecard, listen to your feelings
  • Do what you love, with people you love ~Steve Jobs
  • You choose your consequences, choose wisely; Stoic philosophy
  • Toltec, 4 beliefs:
    • Be impeccable with your word
    • Don’t take anything personally
    • Don’t make assumptions
    • Do your best, learn from your efforts
  • Simon Sinek, TED talks
  • Human connection is invaluable
  • Don’t bet the farm on your vision, you can have multiple visions and you can update them over time; life is the journey of moving from vision to vision, you can always have more
  • Impediments to integrating these lessons:
    • fear
    • ego-centrism
    • relying on others for answers
  • Purpose can be updated, continual growth of self, embracing one’s flaws along the way
  • For kids
    • get really clear about the life you want to live
    • talk about values
    • talk about roles you want to play
    • structure your life around these things
    • make decisions based on these criteria
  • Discover your purpose, we all have one but we have to find it
  • The questions I ask myself define my life by virtue of the answers I give
  • Examine periodically the questions you spend your time thinking about and make sure they’re the right questions to be asking